Today I posed a question on Twitter: If I stopped blogging, would anyone notice?

I’m having a moment. A very long moment. I’ve been blogging for 3 years now, as of September, and I have hit a wall. A very big wall.

I wonder if my site has hit its plateau. Can I revive it, or reinvent it, or do anything to take it to the next level.

I know that I have a following, but it’s not the following I hoped to have had by now.

I genuinely love my readers. It’s a small crew, but they have been very supportive. I keep them in mind when I don’t feel like blogging. I love when they comment and tell other people to check the site out. A few have rocked with me so long that I feel like they are not just readers, they’ve become friends in a way.

I see other blogs that started the same time I did and they have blossomed into much more and I hear bloggers complain about shit I wish I had to complain about. I try not to compare me to anyone or anything else, but it’s human nature to wonder why…

To be honest, this is additional income for me, not my full-time gig but the beauty of it is that I can earn extra money doing something I love to do, but I want to see this grow.

I’m not trying to be the next Perez Hilton, I’m not looking for fame, maybe a little fortune but I keep getting stuck.

THEN, to top it all off, and what really made me question this whole thing, is that somehow some way Google disabled my Adsense account and I don’t get any referrals from Google searches (okay that’s a little blogger-speak, just know it sucks), which really drove a lot of traffic to the site. So my hits are DOWN, like WAY DOWN, and in turn my money is DOWN, WAY DOWN. It’s back to what I was getting when I started. That’s like a 300% decrease in a matter of 2-3 weeks. Getting through to Google is like trying to get in the White House and I may be bi-racial like Obama, but it isn’t working for me! So while dealing with my other plateau issues, I get kicked while I’m down.

I love blogging, I really do and I am not going to stop, I’m just wondering if my voice is being heard. Is it unique enough to draw people in?

I don’t know…

How I’m feeling right now, which is funny because I am the biggest cry baby…

Fairy tales don’t always have a happy ending, do they?

Dear Self,

Get off your ass girl!

It’s time to reboot the system and get back to working out, because you know what? You’re not as young as you look and you body doesn’t do what it used to. Those cookies are sticking to your thighs and those drinks settled right on your hips… The pants are getting tighter and you’re just not comfortable. So it’s time to move.

Love, A Complicated Melody

So this is my public commitment to start working out. I have been avoiding it like the plague! But something has to be done. It’s summer and I can’t wear my cut summer clothes feeling pudgy… Running works for me, so I think I’m going to stick with that. I’m so not a morning person, so late evening runs it will be. Plus, I promise to use my Wii Fit that I paid all that money for.

I don’t diet. Period. BUT I do believe in portion control. The less you put in, the less you have to work out. I don’t count calories or grams of fat. I don’t cut out carbs or meat. I just less of what we know can be bad and stop when I’m full.

Sometimes you have to challenge yourself… So I’ve said it. Now I have to stick with it.

One of the first emails I see this morning is from Essence saying “How to Find Your Own President Obama” and the first thing I thought was ‘I knew this was coming.’ Over the last year women have been declaring the need to find and keep a man like President Barack Obama.

After reading the photo essay I realized the article really should have been titled, “How to find and keep a love like the Obamas.” However, it prompted me to finally write this blog about just how I feel about this growing phenomenon of women now searching for “their own Barack Obama.” Especially since most haven’t become their own Michelle Obama.

While women are making their lists and checking it twice, trying to find a man with all the great characteristics that President Obama possesses, how many are checking themselves against those of First Lady Michelle Obama.

Read the rest of this entry »